Headship in Marriage

By Gary L. Cox

Addressing the believers in Corinth, the Apostle Paul declares…

[Brethren,] I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. (1Corinthians 11:3)

By three decrees, God establishes his authority over marriage and binds the husband and wife to His purposes in it. These purposes go beyond their own interests and encompass Christ, the Church and his coming glorious kingdom.

Paul begins, "[Brethren], I would have you know..."  By offering instruction Paul declares that there is important information about marriage that is not discovered by natural observation but by supernatural revelation.  By this, God places upon the husband and the wife the obligation and duty to seek out and obey His decrees on marriage that He has revealed in His Holy Word.  Thus, it will be a great blessing for every Christian couple to give earnest heed to the  admonition of the Apostle Peter who said…

As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:  If so be ye have tasted that the Lord [is] gracious. (1 Peter 2:2-3)

Truly it can be said, The entrance of thy words give light; it gives understanding unto the simple. (Ps 119:130)

In the first decree, God declares, "the head of every man is Christ".  By this decree, God separates marriage from the intentions and preferences of the couple and establishes His purposes for them in it.  Thus marriage is not only a union between husband and wife, but also between the couple and Jesus Christ.

Marriage cannot be entered into without obligating the couple to the purposes which God has determined for it.  In Malachi 2:14, the marriage union is understood as a blood covenant. Upon entrance into this covenant by that first, holy act of consumation, God as witness holds every couple accountable to pursue His purposes in their marriage.

The first decree both limits marriage to God's covenental purposes and also establishes a direct and serious obligation upon the husband whom Christ holds accountable as His earthly representative within the  marriage covenant.  God declares that he personally is the heavenly witness between the husband and the wife of his youth (Mal. 2:14).  The Lord is a fearsome watchman over every treachery found in the husband and thus He also is the heavenly guardian of the wife. 

Husband, hold fast to your head, Jesus Christ.  You must actively cling to Christ in order to prevent your own deception and spiritual falsehood (see Col. 2:19).  The focus for the husband is Christ.  Submit to Christ, your head over you and you will surprisingly have little trouble from your wife under you.   

By the headship of Christ over him, the husband has both a Savior to seek for help and a Judge to prove him in every matter as he represent the interests of God to his wife and his children. 

In the second decree, God declares, "and the head of the woman is the man".  In this decree God ordains the husband as His earthly authority in the home. Husband, you are that ordained channel by which God has determined to bring blessing into your home, your community and your nation. 

God created the woman for the man.  By this decree the wife is complete in her husband, and together she is complete with her husband in the head, even Christ (Col. 2:10).  Wife, do not look  beyond your husband for your identity or fulfillment in this life, and you will not look beyond Christ.  God has first placed your husband under obedience to Christ.  You must also look to Christ even as you look to your husband for leadership and guidance. 

Only by submission will God provide the husband with such an excellent helpmeet that he can accomplish the tasks of his duties with ease and joy.  Wife, you must have your head 'covered'; that is, you must actively take hold of your head, in order to avoid deception and spiritual error as a wife.  God will provide a safe haven for you in your husband, but you must freely submit to him. Submission allows the wife to pursue her ministry of care for her husband and home with a freedom that allows her gifts and tender care to spring forth liberally, joyfully and uninhibited. 

In the third decree, God declares, and the head of Christ is God.  By this decree, the fullness of Christ's authority finds its source and end in God the Father.  God directs all authority in marriage back to Himself and He directs the goals of marriage beyond its personal benefits.  God has a claim upon marriage that extends into eternity.   Marriage is a great mystery that speaks of Christ and the Church (Eph. 5:32).

Genesis 2:24 declares, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."  In Malachi 2:15 the prophet asks, "And did he not make one?  …And why one? That He might seek a godly seed." Marriage is God's first institution for creating a holy social order.  God's laws and government are brought first to the family, and from the family to His church, and from His church to the world.