Are We Better Than They?

by David Cox

   I am still in shock as I write this article.  Monday morning I came into work and heard the tragic news of the parents who were murdered by their daughter’s secret boyfriend1 .  What was even more shocking is that David Ludwig and Kara Borden were both homeschool students who were from Christian homes.  My first response was to distance myself from the situation by reasoning that they were inadequately disciplined or their training was incorrect.  However, I am not in a position to evaluate the training of these teens nor can I sit in judgment on the situation because I don’t know many facts.  It was the passage in Romans 3 which reminded me that we are all, by nature, as wicked as the teen who murdered the Bordens.

   What then? are we better [than they]? No, in no wise: for we have before proved … that they are all under sin; As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat [is] an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps [is] under their lips: Whose mouth [is] full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet [are] swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery [are] in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes. Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. (Romans 3:9-19)

   The greatest tragedy of these murders will be if we stick our noses up and think that “this would never happen to me, my children would never do such a thing.”  That which caused David Ludwig to commit this crime is exactly what is wrong with our children - and us!  We are all wicked sinners and only by an understanding of our sin and turning from it by repentance toward God, can we avoid going the same way.  Repentance is the central theme of the Gospels and repentance is what we need to preach in our homes.  Repentance from my way, my desires, my motives, my lust, my sin.

   If we are attempting to teach and raise our children as “good little Christian homeschoolers” but do not preach repentance from our own life’s example and words, then we will have lost the primary benefit of keeping your children at home.  If we are not going to use homeschooling as an opportunity to win your children to Christ, your children are really no better off than if you sent them to the local public school.  We must not be those who tout homeschooling simply because of its perceived academic or developmental advantages but totally miss the primary responsibility that every Christian parent has – to bring their children to Christ. 

   So you might ask, if bringing our children to Christ is as simple as preaching repentance, than why bother homeschooling?  The answer is that our children are born as pagans.  We cannot allow the pagan school system to train our little pagans and expect to find repentance when they are through.  This is why God gave us our children.  He wants us to bring them to Him – they are your first mission field. 

   The next verse in Romans 3:20 says that “by the law is the knowledge of sin.”  You cannot preach repentance in your home without first showing your children what to repent from.  That is what God’s law is meant for – it is to show us our filthy sinfulness, God’s absolute holiness and the coming judgment that He is bringing against us if we don’t repent.  This is what Paul meant when he said to “use the law lawfully”.

   But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, (1 Timothy 1:8-9)

   When our children are born, they are automatically put in that ‘murderers of fathers and mothers’ category.  This is certainly a frightening thought without Christ.  However, the law is our schoolmaster to bring us to Christ that we might be justified by faith2 . 

   I believe the problem in our homes is that we are afraid to institute the law because we don’t want to be considered a legalist and become a pharisaical white-washed tomb (which is the other extreme.)  As a result, we become scared and confused parents whose children are running headlong after the world with no fear of God in their hearts. 

   Parents, God has given you authority in your home for a reason.  The Roman Centurion clearly understood the lines of authority which allowed him to relate to the authority and power of Jesus when he said to Christ:

   For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goes; and to another, Come, and he comes; and to my servant, Do this, and he does it. (Matthew 8:9)

   Because the Centurion understood the structure of authority and recognized the power of Jesus, his faith was matter-of-fact and quite simple.  Jesus said that he had not found that great of faith in all Israel.  Just as civil government is structured as Constitution-Federal-State-Local domains of authority, the family is similarly structured as God (the Word is God3 )-civil government-father-mother-children.  As long as the lower authorities do not contradict or violate the law of the higher authority, they have complete freedom to operate and dictate using their authority.  This means parents that, yes, you have the authority to tell your son to cut his shoulder-length hair regardless of whether or not you can find a scripture that says long hair is a shame for a man (which there is4 ).  Father and mother, you have the authority to rule your home as a King and Queen – absolute sovereign authority so long as it is not in violation to God’s law and civil law.  The commands of higher authorities are to be implemented by lower authorities.  You are responsible for seeing that God’s authority is honored in your home and no, it’s not legalism, its called obedience.  God is going to require us all to give an account for how we used our authority. 

   Proverbs commands children to not forsake the law of their father and mother5 .  It’s kind of difficult to not forsake a law if it has never been given.  I’m not just talking about big things like adherence to the Word of God, but in small things like respect and obedience.  This is the law by which are the opportunities for training and pointing your child’s heart to repentance.  CAUTION: we must be careful that we don’t mistake outward obedience for inward repentance.  If a child is outwardly complying but his heart is still unrepentant, than all you have is a good looking Pharisee. 

   It seems that in Christian homes we are quick to legalize and approve the rebellion of our children instead of countering their world-bent ways with the repentance of the Cross.  We don’t want to fight with our kids over what we think are the little things so we give in and give our blessing of their pursuit of the flesh when deep down inside we know that it is wrong.  This kind of apathy will result in our homes becoming debaucherous flesh fests as we turn the grace of God into lasciviousness.  As a result the Gospel is shut out and spiritual seed does not have a chance to take root because of all the weeds that we allow to spring up and choke the Word.  Our culture has become so saturated with moral relativism that even Christians are unwilling to draw any kind of line in the sand where we tell our sinful children, “this far, and no further”.  Or if we do draw the line, it’s a few microns away from the pit of hell.  Don’t wait until your child is pointing a gun in someone’s face to realize that you waited a little too long to lovingly use the authority you have had since his birth.

   It was reported on Monday that Kara Borden was wearing a black t-shirt with the word “Pillar” on it.  Out of curiosity due to my ignorance of this music group, I did a search to find out what kind of music she listened to.  After browsing the Pillar website for about 15 minutes in my attempt to see if they were a Christian or secular rock group, the only indication I could find that they were “Christian” was that their current tour schedule includes a number of Christian music festivals, churches and Acquire the Fire meetings and that they had received a Dove Award for Hard Music Album of the Year.  There was nothing about Christ, the Gospel, repentance or even nice sounding religious cliché’s!  There is more religious sounding content in a politician’s speech than I could find on that website! 

   Instead they boasted [and I quote from their website] “the song ‘Bring Me Down’ addresses anything and anyone that tries to hold a person back”…like parents, the Bible, God?  The arrogance, rebellion and defiant attitude that exuded from their words was sickening.  It is no wonder why Kara would so willingly rebel against her parents.  Some other song titles were “Sunday Bloody Sunday” and “Hypnotized”.  When I read the title “Sunday Bloody Sunday”, I got chills up and down my spine after knowing what just happened the previous Sunday morning.  The song Hypnotized demonstrated their utter confusion of mind by the words “Hypnotized, we’ve all been hypnotized…where do we go from here?” At least they understand they are completely lost.  However, the Spirit of God does not cause confusion but gives clarity of thought and a sound mind.  And Christians are promoting this music!  I don’t know what kind of fire they are trying to acquire but it seems unlikely it will be the fire of the Holy Spirit!  I pray they do not receive the fiery indignation of God’s wrath for calling evil “good”.  Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.  “For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?” (1 Peter 4:17)

   In closing, we need to realize that it is required of a man that he be found faithful.  Faithfulness does not always mean that the results will be as we wish.  We must obey God from the heart and trust Him to bring good fruit in the hearts of our children.  He is the one that brings the increase.  I know of faithful, godly men who still had rebellious children.  Faithfulness does not always result in immediate fruit as we like but always brings God’s purpose and glory.  We cannot save our children or bring them to repentance – that is God’s work – but He will use us in the process if we are faithful.  I also want to point out that love must be the overriding motive of all our authority and actions.  We will be nothing more than empty words if we have not love. 

1 http://abcnews.go.com/US/LegalCenter/wireStory?id=1311386&page=2

 2 Galatians 3:24 Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster [to bring us] unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

 3 John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

 4 1Cr 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

 5 Pro 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Pro 6:20 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

 6 http://www.pillarmusic.com/WDWGFH-lyrics.pdf

 7 \l “23” 1Sa 15:23 For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry.

 8 \l “2” 1Cr 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

 9 1Cr 13:1-13